horklog

Note: I wrote this about a year ago, and nothing has changed. Listen, I know it’s all about multi-tasking nowadays, but this is re-goddamn-diculous. I apologize for the formatting… I copied-n-pasted it from its original crappy blogspot home.

I set up this blog to track how many fucking times I’ll be interrupted as I work on the Annual Meeting deadline. I do not expect this blog to continue after the Annual Meeting takes place, as it is physically and culturally impossible to get any sort of workflow going in this cubicle, in this company, what with all the fucking interruptions.

9:37 - Jon C (the President), checking on the status of the Annual Meeting Banners

9:40 - Mac F, despite the fact that I am working on stuff already, wants me to stop so we can work on his powerpoint for the Annual Meeting. This will be an absolute clusterfuck, because it will require editing existing graphics which were created by the previous graphic designer, who I suspect was dyslexic and possibly borderline retarded. I tell Mac to check back after lunch. Hopefully I will be in the bathroom when he comes back.

10:00 - Chris G, over from the Arlington office, wants to look at the pictures I emailed him on my screen (he cannot wait until he gets back to the Arlington office to look at the pictures I emailed him on his screen).

10:15 - Chris again. Now he wants to hire Gunnar (our photographer) to take more pictures next week (of course, this conversation can’t wait until after the Annual Meeting deadline).

10:30 - Matt M, over here at the Alexandria office for a meeting, stops by to shoot the shit while he waits for his meeting to start. There is definitely a downside to having your office next to a frequently-used conference room. The upside is that the conference room has glass walls, which makes for great spectating when people are taken in there to get yelled at or fired.

10:40 - Ray C, looking for one of those ginormous plan staplers. What the fuck, do I look like fucking Office Depot? Check the Estimating department.

10:30 - Merrell A, also looking for one of those ginormous plan staplers (see above).

11:30 - LUNCH DELAYED! Skipping the group lunch — too much to do. Gonna grab something and eat at my desk today, despite two tempting invites. The kewl kids want to have lunch outside by the fountains. JK and Mac want to have a bitch session about Merrell (the overgrown fratboy, “delegate-your-way-to-an-earlier-tee-time” s.o.b.) at a restaurant somewhere. Have to pass, which sucks.

12:05 - Timmah! Timmah is looking for the marketing girls… (hmm… check your watch, Tim — there’s a little thing that happens every day when the sun is mid-way through the sky… I think the kids are calling it “lunch” nowadays!) he wants to somehow staple or fasten a ridiculously thick stack of drawings. I sent him to talk to Maureen. What is it with the stapling today? Jeeziz H. Fuck, people — we are not your one-stop fastening shop!!

12:20 - Jonathan, nerdy IT guy just stopped by. Usually I have a soft spot in my heart for nerdy IT guys, because they are typically not the most socially adept individuals, resulting in a low peg on the social food chain. To put it into terms an IT person can understand — when they were created, a 12-sided die was rolled and they were assigned 1 “charisma” point.

Jonathan doesn’t quite fit the “IT Guy” social outcast stereotype — I mean, he just doesn’t realize how poor his social skills are. You gotta give the kid credit — he soldiers on, thinking he’s charismatic and his jokes and pithy observations are funny and interesting. Here’s a hint, Jon: they’re not. We tolerate them because you are a very talented and capable IT person. (Talented and capable IT persons are invaluable when you work in with complicated, unreliable equipment, so it’s always wise to be nice to them.)

Anyway, Jonathan just came by to tell me some incomprehensible joke or pithy observation (not sure which it was, because he kindof mumbled it and I usually tune out most of what he says anyway).

1:30 - Robert and his A/V hijinks. Robert (the CFO) came by, asked me to attend a “mini-meeting” with the A/V guy to go over requirements for the Annual Meeting. This doesn’t really count as a distraction, since I really did need to be there. Still, it was yet another detour from the task at hand.

1:45 - Linda (la Quesa Grande around here) came by moments ago looking for the marketing girls… they were storing mugs down in the parking lot (yes, we use vacant parking spaces in the garage to store our overflow tchotchke items). She wanted to know if they were working on nametags and table toppers for the Annual Meeting. I told her I didn’t know, but that I would make sure they were as soon as they returned.

1:47 - Merrell (Mr.-Delegator-Guy-who-never-quite-graduated-from-the-Frat) called. I ignored the call. I knew he was just trying to delegate some task he could’ve easily done himself.

1:48 - Katherine and Lindsey (the aforementioned Marketing girls) return, Katherine answers the phone, it’s Merrell, he wants to know if we have any more bags (one of our tchotchke items). Had he called earlier, he might’ve caught them before they went down to our parking lot storage facility… they might’ve been able to grab some bags for him without making a second trip downstairs. Alas, now they will have to return (because Merrell is far too important to go down there and check himself). That’s what they get for answering the phone when he calls.

1:49 - The Legend appears. Dina, a friend-of-a-friend-of-Linda’s, is currently between jobs, so Linda hired her to help out with coordinating the Annual Meeting, as well as her daughter’s impending nuptials. Dina, we’ve been told, is a “Legend in the Catering Industry.” So of course we call her “The Legend.”

The Legend wants to know if the marketing girls were working on nametags and table toppers for the Annual Meeting.

Really.

I wanted to tell her they were working on TPS cover sheets.

2:28 - The Legend Returns. The Legend stopped by to ask me if I had heard anything about the numbers for the Annual Meeting. I asked her to clarify, because much of what I’m working on has to do with “numbers” — i.e., financial reports, number of employees, project square foot, etc.

No, she was asking if the number of people expected to attend the Annual Meeting had changed.

I haven’t heard any numbers, but even if I had, wouldn’t I have heard them from her, since she’s supposed to be organizing it? GAHHhhh!

2:30 - Vanessa and the Delivery Guy - Oh great!! Just when I get up a head of steam, there’s a delivery of binders — 10 boxes worth — and there’s no place to store them. Just drop ‘em there, Mr. Delivery guy, and we’ll figure it out later. Maybe I can use the stacks of boxes to hide behind when people come to interrupt me.

2:35 - Merrell, still in search of bags, comes by to hassle the marketing girls to find him some. Alas, they have left to run errands and buy table toppers and nametags. He asks for Katherine’s cell phone number (presumably because he’s too important to look on the phone list himself) and dials it. Aha! She’s learned her lesson, and is now not answering calls from him!! VICTORY!! He must go fetch the bags from our subterranean tchotchke stash HIMSELF!!

2:42 - Linda wanted to know if I had an annual meeting agenda. Also wanted to know if we’re doing the same banners we did last year. Also wanted to know what was in the boxes that were just delivered, and asked that they be moved down to the 2nd floor. So much for using them to hide behind.

2:50 - Jon C, checking in. Jon C is a serial interrupter. It’s how he manages. Some might consider him a micromanaging martinet (okay, I consider him a micromanaging martinet), but you can’t deny that he’s effective. He makes his rounds, hovers in behind you, invading your physical space until he’s practically humping your chair, gives his comments, suggestions, and directions, and then flits off to micromanage someone else. The process is repeated every 45 minutes - 1 hour (every 15 minutes on tight deadlines). Still, his humor and energy somehow make it all work.

Anyway, JC just came by to ask essentially the same questions that Linda just asked 15 minutes ago (where were the Marketing Girls, what’s in these boxes, etc)

And that’s where it ended. I guess I must’ve been interrupted before I could finish it.