horklog » Words

Can someone help me find a “Conservative Hunting Permit?”

h0rk — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 18:25:33 +0000

This week I learned that hateful rhetoric has absolutely no affect on society at large. So, I figured, what the heck… I’ll put a “Conservative Hunting Permit” sticker on my car for the LULZ!!
Except when I did a Google search, I couldn’t find one.

If you read one “epic pwnage” story today, let it be this one.

h0rk — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 19:06:20 +0000

Perhaps you’ve been following the story about Jennifer and Scott Petkov, the callous asshat neighbors who taunted and harassed a girl with Huntington’s Disease (as they taunted and harassed her now-deceased mother before her).

Now the good news… a local toy store (with a little help from reddit.com) raised more than $12,000 for a shopping spree for Kathleen, with some of the money donated coming as far away as Japan, Australia and Europe. Any money that Kathleen does not spend will go toward local childrens hospitals.

However, a Troll in a FARK thread couldn’t believe that the effort was anything more than a cynical attempt for the store to generate publicity and sales… and he was willing to tangle with anyone who disagreed…

…until he was OWNED in a most EPIC MANNER (skip down to Studmuffin’s post at 2010-10-12 11:05:55 PM if you want to cut to the chase).

Summer Vacay

h0rk — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 20:00:42 +0000

It’s gonna be quiet here for the next week or so… I’m on vacay and won’t really have much intertron access. Just wanted to take the opportunity to say:

1) From the “You people are Weird” file: for some reason, the “Brigitte Bardot/Woman with the Missing Hand” image had another upswing in popularity. The last three days have seen a 20x increase in traffic to the site, just for that single image. I have no idea where the traffic is coming from (I can’t glean the source from WordPress stats, I’ll have to do a more detailed analysis when I get back).

2) Sorry to sound like a grumpy old man, but, Other travelers suck! I particularly love the pushing, shoving, selfish inconsiderate fuckwits that just have to get off the plane first instead of waiting for the rows in front of them to clear. One bitch in particular pulled this yesterday, forcing herself ahead of me and my daughter, only to walk at a snail’s pace once she got in the jetway. Jeeziz H. Fuck — if you want to be first off the plane, book a seat in the first 10 rows… if you’re in seat 30, just bide your time… trust me, you’ll get off the plane eventually!! Of course, on the other end of the spectrum, are the clueless morons who camp out in the middle of busy corridors (blocking the entire moving walkway is one of their favorite moves), preventing other travelers from getting past.

With passengers like these in abundance, it should be no surprise when flight attendants flip out. Travel stress, cramped airline seats, getting nickle-and-dimed by the airlines for snacks and luggage, etc., isn’t an excuse. Whatever happened to common courtesy, or even a basic awareness of your surroundings?

A brief snippet from today

h0rk — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 15:26:36 +0000

Phone: Ring Ring
Me: “This is (me)”
Caller: (Pause while telemarketing software connects)
Caller: (reading from script) “Hello, Mr. (completely mispronounced). Would this be a good time to talk about Spam prevention?”
Me: “You mean Spam, like this phone call?”
Me: (click)

I don’t understand my target audience

h0rk — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 20:40:24 +0000

Okay, I’ve been a mailing it in for a while now (real life gets in the way), but I checked my stats for the first time in many moons to find that this image of Brigitte Bardot and some lady with an invisible hand has become immensely popular over that past month or so.

Not popular enough to rival “Bitches don’t know my about my popsicle” or “Looks like ol’ Clem skinned himself a Hitler,” but it’s climbing up the charts.

Dan Deacon & Liam Lynch – Drinking Out of Cups

h0rk — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 19:27:28 +0000

What happens when you take audio of some dude tripping on acid commenting on TV with the sound off, and then set it to surreal 3D animation? (Hat tip: eatmoonpie)

If genius happens in an empty IRC channel, is it still genius?

h0rk — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 19:16:36 +0000

I think so.

(abraham bacoln)

Idiot = Me

h0rk — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 20:58:38 +0000

I had an accident today. (sigh)
Great way to start the three-day weekend… like I can really afford this right now.
At least no one was hurt.

h0rkblr

h0rk — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 02:55:58 +0000

I’m finally using my tumblr site now. I’ll probably be posting there more often, just because it’s so ridiculously simple to use.
One caveat… it will be a “staging area” for some of the pics I post here, so you may see some repeats, but the bonus is you’ll find some of the weirder stuff there that I wouldn’t post here.

“Gig” tonight.

h0rk — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 17:32:37 +0000

My band, “Bipartisan Curious,” has its first “gig” tonight… we’re playing a bunch of cover songs at a block party. Wish us luck.
(man, I’m a long way removed from my hipster days… we’re a collection of has-been wannabes who get together after our real jobs to play cover songs… at one practice recently, I looked around the room at the DockersÂ©-clad, sweatervest-wearin’ assemblage and asked myself how it got to this point… Geezerhood has hit, and hit hard)

…and yes, we are planning to change the name (which was chosen because we’re scheduled to play a couple of parties for politicos up on Capitol Hill)… suggestions are welcomed (they didn’t like my suggestion… “Sasskrotch”).

Follow up
We got in a soundcheck, and the opening act got to play, but we canceled because of a torrential downpour. It was a disappointment, but at least our gear wasn’t ruined. We have another gig lined up on Sept. 12.